I don't mean romantic relationships.
Youth to Youth Minister
Stuff like that.
I think about it a lot. How are my relationships doing? Who haven't I talked to in awhile? Sometimes it's from insecurity of "Why haven't they texted me back yet?" or "Did I do something to make them mad?" Other times it's simply "I wonder what so-and-so would think of this" or "We really need to catch up."
Not to toot my own horn, but I have a lot of friends. I don't know why or how, but I do. I always wish that I could keep in touch with all of them better and spend time with them one-on-one, but I simply can't. A big part of that is we are all spread out everywhere around the country, sometimes even the globe. Also, most of my friends don't run in the same circles. They're kind of just... everywhere. There are moments that it makes it confusing of who is a close and personal friend, or simply someone I know and hang out with sometimes.
Last night I finished the book Finally and Forever by Robin Jones Gunn. It's her fourth book in the Katie Weldon series (basically a spin off of Chrsity Miller). There is one point in the story where Katie is getting frustrated with different people commenting on her life and what she should be doing and God's plan for her.
Katie tells herself that she should only listen to the people in her "bulls eye." The people she really knows and trusts, and then listen to those in the outer-ring of the bulls eye.
It got me thinking - who is in my bulls eye?
When I make new friends and run around with several circles of people, sometimes I get confused with who is actually one of those close and person "bulls eye" types, and who is someone I just like to hang out with.
Who are the people I truly trust with my heart, and who SHOULD I trust with my heart?
How many times do we meet someone and trust them, reveal our hearts to them, then realize we shared too much and it was too late to turn back? Leaving us hurt and left in the dust.
It's like on Say Yes to theDress. When a bride brings in more than a few people to help her pick out the dress, she hears too many opinions and drama happens. The same should go for our lives. It's great to have a lot of friends. But if you have too many voices in your head telling you what you should do and how you should think and sharing their thoughts and opinions - drama happens.
|You can tell this bride is confused. And see all of the people|
sitting on the couch! Too many opinions. And, source.
So I sat down with my journal (yes, I still keep an ACTUAL journal, it's therapeutic) and tried to figure out who was in my bulls eye circles.
Something like this.
When I am having a crisis- who do I turn to, and who SHOULD I turn to?
Who are the people who's opinions I truly value, and who know me best?
The "bulls eye" was easier than I thought it would be. God, immediate family, and a very small handful of friends.
The outer circles- not so much.
Granted - you can't categorize people. They are people, not objects. I normally don't do these sorts of things. But as I started thinking about who would go where and who I really knew I could share my heart with... it was a real eye-opener.
The people in the "opinions I highly value" circle, there were a lot more names than I feel there should be. Then again - should there even be a number limit?
Then, as I was working with circles, I realized that some people switched circles. People a few years ago I thought I would have in the smallest two had moved out. Sometimes because of a particular incident where I learned our friendship had changed, other times just because people move apart. Yet, realizing those people had moved circles in a way was a relief. I didn't feel obligated to share certain parts of my life and heart with them anymore. Sometimes that's okay.
Or realizing that some people's opinions meant more to me than I realized. While we may not talk every single day, if something big was happening in my life, I would still want to hear their thoughts.
I think this is something good to try and go through on occassion. Again, not that we should put people into categories or anything. But really evaluating who really has imput in our lives, that's important.
Sometimes those people change, and that's okay.
But how do you know?
How do you pick those people who you keep closest to your heart?
This is something I've always had a hard time with. I tend to trust too many people with too many things, and I get voices confused in my mind.
How do you pick who is in your bulls eye?
And no, I am not sharing who is in each circle- with anyone, and I don't expect anyone to share theirs with me. It's a personal thing and I have a feeling it could create drama with people sharing these things. So in the comments, don't say names. Just share how you pick and such.