Thursday, October 25, 2012


I have found myself with a dilemma.

On the one hand, it's kind of a good one. I've figured out my problem with why I haven't had any blog inspiration lately.

On the other hand - I don't have a solution.

It's not that I don't have things to talk about. So many times people say "My life is boring", "I don't have anything to say", and let's be honest - it simply isn't true. When we truly think about it, we all have something we want to say. Even if it is just about what outfit we wore, or the song we're listening to on repeat at the moment, the movie we watched recently, the book we're reading, the people we're hanging out with, etc.

There's always something to say.

It's figuring out which one to talk about.

This is where I get stuck. While trying to decide what I want to write about (or make a video about), I go through a series of censors.

This Blog is Not Anonymous

There are times I envy the people who have blogs that are anonymous. They can say whatever they want, and it's going to go jump out and haunt them later. (Most likely.) These bloggers aren't going to run into a family member, a friend, or a co-worker or someone and have to have some awkward conversation about a blog post you had written at some point or another.

I worry about this probably far more than I should. While a majority of my readers (that I'm aware of) are actually friends I've made on the internet. However, I do have family members, friends, co-workers, some congregation members, and once in a blue moon a youth might come across this site.

In a way it's weird. You would think that with most things you would rather share with people you actually know than to share it all over the internet. It really don't make sense, but there are times when I'm just like "I don't care if a stranger knows this... but someone I see everyday? Heck no!"

I Get Blog Envy

I think a lot of bloggers go through this at some point - so I know I'm not alone. I read a lot of other blogs.


So many times I read them and I think:

"Why can't I be that funny?"

"I'm not that deep and intelligent."

"That's such a great point- why didn't I think of that first?"

"I would write about that... but it's already been done. I don't want it to be overkill."

"That blog is so much PRETTIER THAN MINE!"

"Their video was so creative. I don't have the time to do that, or the fun ideas either. They also must have fancier video editing programs than I do."

So I end up not writing at all.

I Could Get In Trouble

There are many times there are certain topics I want to talk about - but I know I simply can't. I've crossed lines in my writing before, and I've learned my lessons. The hard way.

I'm not saying that I'm afraid of losing followers or things like that. It's fine if people on the internet disagree with  me and decide to not read my blog anymore. Whatever.

It's when what I want to say could get me into trouble. SERIOUS trouble. Like... I could lose my job, or at least lose a lot of respect from people I work with kind of trouble. Especially in the area I live in and the church denomination I work for, more often than not my opinion is the unpopular one.

Is writing my opinion about such things on this blog really worth all of that?

Or even not getting in trouble - but I think about the teenagers and their parents reading this sometimes. I don't think it happens often, but it has on occasion  There are times I think "how would they respond?" If I write about having doubts, or wondering about my future, frustrated with my job, or talking about being single, etc. I don't want people to think that I'm a bad Christian (which... I kinda am if we're totally honest), or that I'm thinking of leaving this church, or even worse...

Random people in Cape trying to set me up on blind dates.


Some Things I Simply Don't Want On the Internet

It's like the opposite of the anonymous blog thing. While there are times I want to write things that I don't want people I know to read - but there are also times when I don't want the entire universe to know what I'm thinking and feeling.

When there is something personal going on in my life, or struggles that I'm having, or emotions that are going on in my heart - guess what? Not all of you are in my bulls eye.

Not that I don't LOVE my blog and internet friends. I do.

But there are some things that simply are for my bulls eye people.

And them alone.

It's Already Been Said

I look back at some of my most popular posts, which many times are my best ones. I see the posts people tend to comment on, and I love it. It reminds me that I CAN write something good, and people like it.

But what if my opinions on those topics have already been exhausted?

What if I simply have nothing else to say or add to with those conversations?

Which leaves me here... with nothing to blog about. I end up filling out little surveys and making vlogs about topics people tell me to talk about. There are times I read my blog posts, and while they are fine and entertaining, I sit back and think, "I NEVER talk like that. Like... EVER. Why did I just publish that on the internet? Who is this person?"

I love blogging. It's so much fun. I love sharing my opinions, hearing what others have to say, making friends, all of those awesome things that come with blogging. But what do I do now?

Yes, I'll be blogging about NaNoWriMo in November. I'll be making videos on occasion, giving you all updates on my life, and do other fun stuff. But, is that all there is?

Do you all censor yourself when you blog/vlog?

What do you do when you get into a rut?

Are my censors too extreme?

How do you be vulnerable without giving too much away?

Any thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Anyone find themselves in the same (or at least similar) situations?


  1. Let me just say, first of all, I LOVE this post. This is exactly how I feel. I don't censor much on my actual blog, but I don't post a lot to my facebook page, because I have a lot of friends and family on there. Knowing that my best friend reads my blog is weird enough. I try to keep it lighthearted and fun on my blog, but I don't always feel that way. I agree with you that sometimes I want to complain about work, but I am afraid to post it. That's why I love posting about design, because I can be impartial.

    New follower from BBN! Love your blog!

    1. Yay! Welcome to the blog- glad to have you here! :D

      I'm glad I"m not the only one who feels weird sometimes about people they know reading their stuff. I LOVE that my family and friends read this, it's a fun way to keep in touch and I love hearing their thoughts. But sometimes it's just weird.

  2. Censoring is definitely okay.

    So is theming. Whether you have a themed Tuesday or make a month of similar posts, I think this can help when you don't know what to write next. This whole month I've tried to blog exclusively about my first US Fall - okay it might sound kind of silly, but at the start of October I wrote a list of things I could write about (ie pumpkins, s'mores, Halloween etc). Come November now I've a backlog of different non-Fall related ideas. Sometimes limiting your inspiration can help you become more inspired. :)

    1. I do some themes, like once a month I post the top 10 songs I've been playing over the month, and this year I've tried having themed guest posts. I really need to get back to that and I think I will in November. (Especially since I'll be busy writing for NaNoWriMo starting November 1!) But I also don't like to do TOO many themed posts. When I read other people's blogs, the posts I enjoy the most more often than not aren't part of a theme or anything. It's just... what's in their head.

  3. I seem to be flip flopping at the moment between "WRITE *ALL* THE BLOG POSTS!!!" and "Ugh, do I really have to blog???". And it's kind of infuriating. I think I'm in a similar boat to you - there's stuff I want to write about, but I can't (my mum reads my blog, as do quite a few of my IRL friends. Plus, I've been burnt before by a blog post, which is a story for NOT HERE). And so I end up posting a whole lot of inane crap instead, and not being particularly pleased with the way any of it turns out.

    I decided earlier this week that I'm going to do NaBloPoMo (not to be confused with NaNoWriMo!!) in the hopes that posting every day in November forces me to get back into the swing of coming up with ideas and following through on them. We'll see how that goes..............

    1. OMG ME TOO. Sometimes I want to write constantly, and other times it's a chore. And yeah, I've been burnt as well - because of the whole working at a church thing. I hate that I have to tip-toe around certain topics, it's really frustrating. But at the same time, there are other ways to handle those subjects that could be better I guess? I don't know.

      And you can totally post everyday in November! I have confidence in you!!!!!!

  4. Honestly, it’s your blog. No one else’s. I’ve gotten “in trouble” a few times with friends who didn’t agree on my topics. But at the end of the day, I know I wasn’t writing to personally offend someone and these words are my opinions. For me, there aren’t a lot of rambling twenty-something single girl blogs out there, so I made my own. That’s my style, it doesn’t fit everyone. You have to first find your style, then write in it. If you stay true to yourself and don’t cut the balls off your post, then you should feel proud about whatever you put out into the internets. Let the other pages that give you blog envy inspire you. And write and rewrite. Walk away and come back to your post a day later so you can tweak it into perfection.

    1. Getting "in trouble" with my friends and such I don't mind. That's life and you can't make EVERYONE happy. The bigger issue is my job. If I say something that crosses a line - it could seriously haunt me the rest of my life, or at least my career if I keep going in this line of work. But do know that I need to stop worrying about what other people think so much - it's a problem. There are probably times when I want to write something and I just need to "get over it" and write.

  5. I battle this same thing actually. My old blog was somewhat anonymous to the people I worried about criticism from, but I promised myself in a new years resolution that I'd be more accountable and direct, stop wearing a different hat for different people. It's sometimes limiting, but sometimes quite liberating to leave it in this private place and know that whomever you'd writing about might find it. Ultimately it does mean there are some things we aren't writing about, but if it's not challenging you it's also not changing you right?

    1. That's so true! I really need to learn to be more transparent, not just on the blog but in real life too. Just... get over it and say what I'm really thinking and feeling!

  6. I wrote this huge comment... then I accidently clicked back from the page and it was all gone... UGH! In short I identify with you in a lot of these areas, and as far as youth goes, being real with them can be a blessing and more helpful to them (of course taking into consideration things they can't understand that are adult issues)but to know that even leaders struggle and have certain thoughts can help them not feel like they can't share their struggles, or think "I am such a horrible person to even think these thoughts... Christians do not do this!" These thoughts are the things esp teenagers need to know are common and normal, but you get to show them that Jesus gets us through it and you never stop having struggles, but that when you do you bring them to God, and christian peers/christian family to help you get through the season.
    Also you can do private blogs with passwords and give your bullseye friends the password, and if it's just for you journal :)

    Also don't over think things, be cautious yes, but don't stress.

    Love you!

    1. UGH I hate it when I do that! You work so hard and write this awesome long comment, then you click something accidentally and it goes away. Yuck.

      But yeah, I totally hear what you're saying. A lot of times when I'm actually talking with youth, I'm pretty transparent. We've actually joked around about all of the things that I say that youth ministers "shouldn't" say and how I should write a book called "Why I'm a Bad Youth Minister." I think sometimes I worry a bit too much about what the parents will think though. Because if they don't trust me or agree with what I say... then they aren't going to send their kids to youth stuff. Does that make sense?

      And... I really need to look more into making private posts. That's a good idea.


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