In true Chicago fashion, there was a large array of events I could go to. There were at least two parades, watching the Chicago river turn green, and I was invited to two parties for Saturday night. Both of these parties I really wanted to go to. One was hosted by my sister's friends. I don't know them extremely well, but they are really fun and I know my sister wants me to get to know them better. The other one was hosted by a friend of mine from college, but it was a little bit further away. A friend of mine from high school had made plans to have a Sex and the City marathon on Saturday, so I invited her to come with me to the one my sister's friends were hosting. That way, I was closer to home and I would have at least one friend by my side in case the party went sour.
She and I hung out, watched Carrie and her friends have misadventures with the men of New York, made commentary about the 90's fashion, and had a good time. After, we went to dinner and I had a fantastic margarita. Having a more Mexican drink might be strange for an Irish holiday - but I feel like as there was some sort of alcohol it's okay.
By the time we were done it was time to party it up. However... as we drove back to my house we both complained about how tired we were, then ultimately decided to call it a night.
Although in my defense, I think I'm coming down with a cold. All day Sunday I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was take a nap.
Yet, I can't help but find it strange I decided to turn down two parties so I could stay at home and watch a BBC show with my mom. I love socializing! I love people! I love making new friends!
But lately, when I have the opportunity to go out and do something, I back out. I'm tired. I don't feel like driving that far. I need to be up early the next morning. An excuse always seems to be ready for me to use.
What is up with me? I become sad when I feel as though I don't do anything and I don't have many friends. I talk about wanting to do new things and meet new people and experience life. Yet, more often than not I end up at home with a book and a TV show to watch even when I have the opportunity to go out.
|This is my usual view. My dog, laptop, book, iPad, TV show. The one on the screen right now is Game of Thrones.|
So why don't I do it?
The next morning, a close friend who was in town for the weekend and I met up for coffee before church and I lamented to her about this problem. She told me "Maybe you should come out as an introvert. You should take the Meyers-Briggs test again."
No. No. Me? An introvert? No way.
I do get my energy from people. I love seeing people and being in a crowd. When I went to New York my favorite place was Times Square.
Now, I know there is more introvert to me than most people realize. Years ago when I took the official Meyers Briggs personality test and I saw the details of my results, while I am an extrovert, there are times I'm pretty borderline. Which made sense to me. However... being a homebody has never been a way I have described myself. Yet... here I am.
(For the record- there is nothing wrong with introverted-ness and staying at home. It's just never been me.)
Have I changed though? Do I need to start seeing myself differently?
Part of what I think my problem is, is that when living in Missouri I didn't have a whole lot of friends. Therefore, I spent a lot of time at home by myself. Therefore, I'm just in the habit of it and in a rut now.
But is that really it? Am I just gradually weaning myself away from the hermit-esque lifestyle I had been living?
Or am I just thinking far too much about this and need to get over it?